Undeserving

I typically keep this blog to stories about the kids and updates on our lives, but this post is going to be addressing something a bit different.  If you just read this blog, you might think that we have it all made with a near perfect life- the boys are always sweet to their little sister and our days are filled with nothing less than hugs and fun memories.  I intended for this blog the record sweet moments and milestones and to celebrate the joys of family.  But this blog gives a glimpse into just a part of our lives; we still deal with siblings fighting, bad attitudes (Mom included), tantrums, and daily disobedience.  And this week has been especially full of the above list. I have found myself discouraged, complaining, and wondering why God chose me for this task of mothering.  But a verse in my devotions this morning from Genesis 32:10 got my attention.  Jacob prayed, 

"I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you shown your servant."

I was freshly reminded that my bad attitude was like telling God that I deserved better.  And yet I deserve none of this- not the loving husband, the children I adore whom God is using to work in my heart, not the home I have or the church I love, not the extended family that cares for us or the faithful friends- none of it.  And if all those things were stripped away, I still have far more than I deserve. I have a Savior who rescued me from the dark slavery to my sin and who made me right with God.  The Holy Spirit convicted me this morning to look at my not-so-easy job of mothering with fresh eyes.  When my child is throwing the tantrum, I want to remind myself that I don't deserve to the gift of that little person in my life and the grace that God is at hand to provide.