Friday, July 30, 2010

Murphy's Crafts

I'm convinced that there is an entire section of Murphy's Laws that were lost. It's the section for mothers. You know, the one that includes laws like:
  • Your children may have been silent for 15 minutes, but the moment the phone touches your ear they will all have something urgent to say.
  • Your child will vomit on/wet the bed the day after you finally washed the sheets.
  • Your children will be helpful gems the morning that you have time to spare and terrors the morning that you're running late.
  • If your baby spits up during a midnight feeding, the sour milk will magnetically find its way to your pillow.
Yeah, that section. And there's a whole sub-section about projects:
  • Science experiments will never work.
  • Plan for twice the time and triple the mess you expected when doing art projects.
The second one always gets me. You know the page of "Family Fun" that shows the smiling mom and kids in the sparkling clean house with their perfectly finished art project? Lies. Lies! LIES!!!!

The last art project we did was making a Star Wars ship out of an egg carton. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It looked easy, and I knew the boys would get a kick out of it. Fifteen minutes, I estimated. Thirty max. Can you hear the "wrong answer" button going off: ERRRRRR! An hour later to the tune of "This Is Taking So Loooong" with the added pleasure of a crying baby, paint had made it's way to nearly every visible part of my children, and I turned around to find that it had even made it onto my couch. I love you, OxiClean Spot Remover!

But I was out shopping last week and came across fabric crayons. They called to me: "I'm a fun project. Pick me. Pick me!" And I did. As we began, I got the sinking feeling that I may have been duped again.

But guess what? They were fun! For Mommy too! Sure, it took awhile; but with only a small mess and super happy children. At the end of it, the kids were ecstatic as their personally designed shirts emerged from under the iron. And I even heard myself say, "We should do this again." *gasp* Miracles do happen!

Here are my proud pajama-top designers:

Thursday, July 29, 2010


We spent last weekend with some dear friends of our who had moved out to a farmhouse in the country for the summer.

115 degree heat index+no central air+2 nights+7 kids+2 bedrooms=FUN
...then you know you're officially really good friends!

As we were leaving, we stopped to get a photo to prove that we had really done it! Some other friends came the last day, so their two boys are in the picture as well:

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A Little 'Lijah

I thought today you could use a little 'Lijah in your life.

Recently I was talking to Elijah about saving up his money instead of wasting it.

E: "I don't need to save money."

Me: "What about when you're older and want to buy a house with your wife?"

E (insistently): "Oh, I don't need money for that! I'm going out into the forest and building a log cabin."

I ended up getting him on the fact that, even if that was the plan, he'd have to have money for the land and ax.

A few days later he saw Ava about to unlatch after nursing. He knows that he's not supposed to look when I'm doing this. And wanting to be sure his brother was obeying as well, he shouted out.

"Isaiah, look away! She's unhitching!"


Monday, July 19, 2010

Peter Pan

A couple of weeks ago, Adriana was talking about seeing her 18 year old second cousin at an Easter party.

"He was sooo handsome, and he made me laugh."

Wait, what?!!? Don't we have at least five years before I have to deal with this kind of stuff?

We also love the way she prays for her sister.

"Dear God, thank you for our new brand baby."

And last night proved to be another classic Adriana moment. She watched Peter Pan, one of her favorite movies, at my parent's house. After it was done, she climbed up on their pool table and jumped off. My brother reminded her that she was not allowed to climb up there. She was beginning to get frustrated.

"But I'm trying to fly!"

He chuckled and played along.

"Adriana, you have to have pixie dust to be able to fly."

Now fully distraught and totally serious, she cried, "There are no fairies in this house!!"

She ran upstairs to Steven and I. At this point she was sobbing uncontrollably, and we had no idea what had happened or why our daughter was beside herself. It took awhile to calm her to the point that she could explain what was going on.

"I just want to fly!"

Saturday, July 17, 2010

MY Crazy Frog Boys

When you get more than one boy together, things always gets crazy. Always.

Isaiah and Elijah's favorite YouTube video is one of two boys goofing around to the Crazy Frog's version of the song Axle F. Every time the song comes up on our iPod in the car they do their own version in the backseat. After seeing this for the 346th time in my rear view mirror, I decided I wanted my very own permanent version. I asked the boys if they would do this for me in front of my video camera. Camera? Chance to be crazy? Absolutely.

So here's what we got. Two minutes and forty-seven seconds of my boys being my boys.

Friday, July 16, 2010


My father has loudly complained to me about the photo I just posted. He tells me that he looks terrible.

I told him that, first off, I don't agree; and secondly, I have no sympathy. I've had that complaint for years when it comes to the photos he chooses to include in the Helms Christmas letters

And besides, the outtakes show what I had to work with. He was more work to take a photo of than any of the kids!

Love you, Daddy!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Grammy & Papa


Monday, July 12, 2010


I've decided that celebrity moms must be able to drop their pregnancy weight so fast not because they have personal trainers but because they have nannies. Because I, for the life of me, cannot find time to exercise! I make time to do so, and then kiddo disaster strikes. This morning it came in the form of dealing with things like an unexpected floor cleaning (post cereal and milk treatment) and diaper basketball. Allow me a moment to explain that one. It involves a dirty diaper one has been given to throw away as the ball and one's sister's white lamp shade as the basket. Time-outs are taken when Mom is looking, and the quarter is over when Mom catches you.

So why, oh why, can't exercise be done like blogging can- while feeding the baby? Does anyone know of a program like "Tae Bo: Nursing With Billy Blanks" or "Feed Your Baby & Tone Your Core In 10 Minutes"?

Alas, I can hear my mom saying it now, "It's just a season, Alyssa." I know she's right; and that God is interested in working on my heart not my jiggling thighs. I'm aware that this is just a season in my life; I just wish it weren't swimsuit season!

And since summer is upon us, here are some pre-fireworks, July 4th photos...

Ava waiting for the fireworks. Yeah, she's a bit advanced. But don't be too impressed; she hasn't yet caught on to calculus...yet.

The boys waiting for the fireworks...

My girls...

Chilling with Grammy...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Pettiskirts Are Perfect For...


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Turning Four

This past week we celebrated our daughter's birthday, our country's birthday, and my mom's birthday. And this Saturday is my dad's birthday party. How am I supposed to lose my preggo weight with all of this cake?!

Adriana's birthday was a hot day with the temperature flirting with the 100 degree mark. So our plans to visit a kiddie water park worked out perfectly.

First, there was the waiting for Momma to get everything together. During which, I caught this moment of her and her cousin Carter watching Mickey Mouse together:

When we finally rallied the troops (and the pizza) and arrived at the park, Adriana had a ball! You know the way a child can read a book over and over or play a game a dozen times in a row? Well, one particular water slide caught her fancy, and I'm pretty confident that she went down it at least a hundred times. Literally. She also enjoyed being the line organizer and letting every child know what position they held.

"You're first. She's second. And I'm third!"

After four hours of enjoying water wonderland, you can guess who passed out on the way home.

After freshening up and donning a pink pettiskirt, an exciting item for any four year old girl, she was ready for her birthday dinner to begin. We spent the rest of the night partying like a
rock star
four year old, complete with another Cinderella cake.




Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Ava & Momma

I own a beautiful camera.

Ava is my baby.

The night she was born the camera was out.

No photo of us.

Throughout her first month the camera was out.

No photos of us.

She is 6 weeks old.

This is our first photo together.