Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Can I Just Skip Mother's Day?

For the first time, I've found myself dreading Mother's Day, wishing I could skip it. A whole day to celebrate something in which I daily feel I'm failing. Excuse me if that sounds too extreme, but that's the truth.

It sent me analyzing (as most things do): Why is this so hard? Why has there never been anything else in my life that I can seem to get a good handle on? I love my kids, as in crazy-off-the-wall-take-a-bullet-for-you love. So why is this so darn difficult? 

I think I came into motherhood with this divide and conquer attitude. I expected it to get easier the more experience I had under my belt. I do it every day, for goodness sake; so why don't I feel like I get any better at it?

Here's where I think the Lord is meeting me in my questioning. 

This is a ministry.

But it's distinctly unlike most other ministries, since you don't walk away from it. You will often be ministering the moment you wake up before your eyes are fully open or your coffee has even entered your mouth. Ministering when someone has just destroyed one of your favorite possessions. Ministering while you try to eat or prepare dinner. Ministering when you're sick. Ministering when you're feeling especially moody. Ministering to someone who doesn't want you ministering to them. Ministering after you thought you had everyone tucked in bed for the night. Ministering at 2 a.m. when you've not fully cognitive. Honestly, you'll even do some ministering when you're just trying to use the bathroom.

This is not easy stuff, people.

Then I'm reminded of Luke 9:23-24:
"And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

So maybe, just maybe, as moms we have an advantage. We get opportunities 24/7 to follow Jesus in denying ourselves. But then, I'm confronted with the fact that I can't do this myself. It's too overwhelming.

Enter Ephesians 3:14-16:
"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,"

So not only has God named my exact family with each of their exact personalities, but then HE supplies the strength through His Spirit. 

This is a daily battle, but also a daily ministry. And if I'm seeking the strength of God's Spirit, I have the opportunity to have an effect on eternal souls even at 2 a.m.

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