The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Cry

The Good-

This...


And this...


We got to spend time with both of our families, basking in loving support systems that make us feel rich as kings.

After the fullness of prepping for Christmas, there is nothing like soaking up time with family, nieces and nephews, and peaceful moments...




In fact like all of the best times, it was so good that I hardly thought of picking up my camera. So there the photos end. Christmas break y'all.


The Bad:

I was at an excellent little coffee shop with some of my family, chatting and laughing and instagraming this photo...

When I saw on my iPhone some news that felt like a sucker-punch to the gut. Ethiopia, my beloved Ethiopia, was in the midst of discussion that included talk of shutting down international adoption. I felt like I could hardly breathe.

Part of me was overcome by the memories of the faces of all of the orphans I met on our trip in July. Memories of newborn babies being fed with a cup since they didn't have the manpower to take the time to give them a bottle. Thoughts of those little faces being deprived of forever families.

The other side of the coin was personal. Though I've never seen her face, I've fallen madly in love with our future adoptive daughter. In our home she is part of regular conversation, we pray for her daily, and are already noticing how she has affected our family for good. The thought of not bringing her home is excruciating for all of us. I found this amongst my 7 year old daughter's things after the news broke:


The Ugly Cry:

In my younger days, one of my idiosyncrasies was that I despised letting people see me cry. If I was going to truly cry, I would lock myself in the bathroom since I couldn't even handle the thought of someone viewing my tears. But for the most part, I just avoided crying in its entirety.

Then I became a wife and parent. And some piece of my heart that I didn't even know existed cracked open.

Enter the ugly cry.

For me it seemed the deeper I loved, the deeper I could cry. And that was Friday night for me. Suddenly I felt like a pregnant woman who had been told she should spend the rest of her pregnancy with the very real possibility of losing her baby. Those heaving sobs somehow validated how thoroughly God had allowed my mother's heart to be opened to this little one who was to be my fifth child.

We don't know how this will all play out. We have been told this all may be political talk with no real threat behind it. We have been told it may not.

Right now God is giving us the strength to "bow [our] knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named." (Eph. 3:14-15)

Our Family Portrait

In the midst of a chaotic week, Adriana left me a portrait of our family. I can't even begin to tell you how precious this is to me...

...and the fact that, in her little mind, her next sister is as much a part of the family as any of us makes my heart sing.

How My View On Adoption Has Changed

I love adoption. As in crazy, super love it. I have since I was a teenager; it's one of the few things that can make me bawl like a baby. If you have been around this blog for any length of time, you know that our family is in the middle of our own adoption process which, even though we still have a long way to go, has already been a life-changing, beautiful journey. I just want to set that straight before I dive into this post.

So here's the deal. My view on adoption has taken a slight shift lately, especially since our trip to Ethiopia. I realize that I have seen adoption as the answer to the worldwide orphan crisis. And I don't quite feel that way anymore. It's a part of the way to tackle this issue. If done well, it's stunningly beautiful. But I'm seeing what a narrow view I had. 

In Ethiopia I met impoverished single mothers. Loving, caring impoverished single mothers. We encountered the reality of women barely able to hold their families together for sheer lack of food. We also heard stories of mothers having to make the gut-wrenching decision to give up the children they loved simply because didn't have the means to meet their basic needs. We all want to imagine that orphanages are full of true orphans, or at least kids whose parents are not fit to care for them; but in a third world country, that's not the story of all the children there.

Then I thought of some of my friends who are single moms. I pondered these tender, caring women who would swim an ocean for their children. I wondered what it would look like if they couldn't provide for their children. Would I sit by if they could no longer feed their children? Would I discount the maternal lullabies, the mother's touch, and fact that these women are fiercely loving mothers and instead suggest that the answer was to put their kids up for adoption? Of course not! Instead I'd be in line with my other girlfriends ready to give anyone that would imply such a thing one very large piece of my mind.

But in a way, by putting all my energy and attention into tackling the orphan crisis via adoption, haven't I done just that? Isn't it a bit a like a doctor who is only willing to treat the symptoms instead of practicing preventive medicine. I've begun to realize how crucial it has to be to put a priority on doing everything in our power to keep potential orphans in the culture and family into which God birthed them. While adoption is a key component of dealing with existing orphans, what about doing something to stop the bleeding and counteract the future orphan numbers?

It's a somewhat newer thought to me, the concept of orphan prevention. I've realized that if I really want to follow God's command to care for the orphans and the widows, I'm going to need to think more broadly. For me it starts with putting my money where my mouth is- getting involved in reputable sponsorship programs, connecting with ministries that work in orphan prevention, and advocating for these issues. And while you better believe that I will remain a strong adoption supporter, I want an equal amount of my resources and energy to go into orphan prevention or care of the children who will never have the chance for adoption.

When someone hears that our family is adopting, they often share with me the heart they have for orphans but how they don't feel called to adopt. This is completely legitimate and the case for many people. But the point I'm sharing and daresay pleading is that opening your heart to the orphan crisis does not automatically equal adoption. While you may never bring an orphan into your family, you can support a child in need and carry them in your heart and your prayers. There are many ministries that care for the un-adoptable and an increasing amount that help connect a family that God has blessed with resources to a family that is depleted of them so that we can truly tackle the orphan crisis head-on.

Obviously this can take place all over the world; but if you're eager to get started right now, Embracing Hope is an excellent, reputable group (we loved our visit with them!) that has 50 sponsorship slots to fill to help keep children with their mommies. You can find more info HERE. 

Let's live this day for the day when all our tears will be wiped away, and the term "orphan" shall cease to exist.

Calling All Photography Lovers

Many different moments of love and care have taken my breath away during the beginning of this adoption process. Let me take a moment to share one with you. A friend contacted me a couple month ago. We knew each other as young girls; but by our teenage years, life had taken us separate ways. And nearly two decades later, we had simply reconnected on Facebook. Now she was messaging me to let me know that our adoption story had touched her heart, and she wanted to do something about it. As a talented photographer with a successful business, her plan was to create a set of Photoshop and Lightroom actions, sell them at a reasonable price, and have all the proceeds go toward our adoption fees. How do you even respond to that? It took me awhile to get my brain around someone giving of their time and talent to help someone they hadn't seen in 2 decades just because they want to see one less orphan in the world.

So, if you love photography, and want to spice up your editing for the low price of $12 (every penny goes toward our adoption), head over and see her handiwork. With this collection, you will get 1 action set for CS& PSE, 4 Lightroom sets with nearly 175 presets, 1 template collection, and 1 texture collection. Just click HERE or on the image to take you there.

Also, check out her business page (which she'll blush that I'm even asking you to do) and see how much there is to "like"!

Grand Total {Give1Save1}

We finished our week on Give1Save1, and I teared up more than once as people poured out generosity and kindness on our family.

Our grand total for the week was...


One of the things this adoption process has shown me so far is how lacking I am when it comes to expressing myself. The words "thank you" have plunked out of my mouth so often seeming to just fall to the floor and not capture the heart of my gratitude. I am truly overwhelmed with gratefulness.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to share our video.
Thank you to our dear friends and family who were happy to be borderline obnoxious by sharing our video over and over.
Thank you to my blogger friends who took the time to dedicate a post to us.
Thank you to the all people who were willing to donate towards the future of our family.
Thank you to those of you who had never seen our family's faces before viewing the video and yet still were so generous.
Thank you to the G1S1 girls who are kind of my heroes for being moms who take the time to have a huge worldview and then do something about it.
Thank you to my West Coast sista' who nominated us and then, in the middle of her own adoption transition, took the time to drum up probably about half of what we made. (Council member for life, g-friend!)

Now that I feel like I've finished a sub-par acceptance speech for an Oscar, you can get a taste of why all of y'all's love for our family blows my mind.

Day 4 total {Give1Save1}

Do remember those times as a kid where some club you were part of would hand you a stack of ordering forms and tell you it was time for you to knock on your neighbors' doors and raise money by peddling something?

Yeah, me too.

I remember because I'm scarred by it. Every single door I went to I would get a big ol' pit in my stomach. Then as the homeowner answered the door, the pit would move into my throat.

"Hi, do you want to buy ______ (insert some obnoxious item)? Okay, I can tell by the wince on your face you don't. No problem. Bye."

Let's just say that if I had to support my family with sales, we'd starve.

And for many years now I've avoided selling anything of any kind. I hardly promo my photography business at all, and I've managed not to knock on a stranger's door for years now.

Along comes adoption.

And guess what? We have no choice. Let's see...so far we've done mini-sessions and sold coffee; now it's promoting this video. Don't get me wrong; I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for each one of these opportunities. But that little girl who would rather visit the dentist (and that's say a whole lot) than sell something? She's dying little deaths over and over again.

So how do I say "thank you" to all of you who have pitched in, shared the video, and help us raise money? I truly don't know. Many of you have generously opened your wallets. And you've "knocked on your [Facebook] neighbors door" for us. Some of you have given our video more PR than even we have. It means so much, and even there words don't touch how I feel.

Here's our grand total after 4 days:


We still have until Sunday night. So if you would, please pass along our video. Every time you share a whole new circle of people get to see and have a chance to be involved.

And I promise, I'll never knock on your door asking you to buy wrapping paper or cashews.

Day 1 Total {Give1Save1}

After our first day on Give1Save1 our grand total was:


Thank you, thank you, and another thank you!

If you haven't yet, PLEASE watch and share our video. Remember it's simple, ONE dollar and ONE share can make a big difference. You can find it all HERE.


Only about half of our adoption fees have been paid so far, and we're so grateful that this is helping us to bring our girl home! We've gotten a question about where this money is going. I'm going to answer that question the cheaters way by not copying down all of our itemized info but referring you to another adoptive momma who has itemized it out HERE.

Again, thank so much to those of you who have already participated.

We're Being Featured!

Good morning! I'm just little *cough, cough* excited for this post. Today started a full week of our family being featured on the wonderful Give1Save1 blog!

This a big fundraiser for our adoption and we need your help! It's fun and EASY.

Click on this LINK to head over to our family's featured post.

Here's how 5 minutes of your time could greatly help cover our adoption costs:

1. Watch the video we made (it's short)

2. Give $1

3. Share the LINK with everyone you know! (This is the super important part since the more viral this video goes, the more money is raised.)

Now wasn't that easy? When else can you help change the future for an orphan in only 5 minutes?

THANKS SO MUCH!!

Wait For It...

Have y'all ever heard of Give1Save1? It's a powerful adoption blog. A group of ladies who believe in taking Jesus' command to "look after orphans" literally started this dear spot on the internet. Each week they feature a video of a family in the middle of an adoption process. The premises is simple: they ask that you give $1 to the featured family and then share their video with your friends so that they can give $1. The farther the web goes, the more money is made without a financial burden on anyone.

Unbeknownst to me, my west coast bestie "nominated" us to be on the blog. Give1Save1 asked us to make a video for our nomination, and early this year; I finally got my act together enough to do so. We sent in it, and we're thrilled to hear that they would be featuring our little Sieb Fam.

As of right now, we go on Monday, April 8th. We can't wait to show you our video (stop-motion since the dear Lord knows I can't make a decent live-action video to save my life), and share the link.

So tune in on April 8th...

DTE & Things That Amuse Me

Today will look somewhat normal and calm in the life of the Sieb fam. And yet on this day, something that's kind of a big deal is happening for our family. As the international adoption world would put it, it's our official DTE date. And de-acronymizing that for you, it's our Dossier To Ethiopia date. From here on, our referral clock starts ticking; we're on a waiting list for our baby girl.

In the corners of my brain, I find myself trying to compare this to a typical pregnancy. It took me awhile to think how to look upon this. Maybe you could say that all that paper chase madness (which felt more like a part-time job...except I had to pay someone else) was like some sort of crazy fertility treatment, and this is like a conception date. Somehow I feel like I'm officially pregnant...only triple the gestational time and then skip the face-in-the toilet dates, ballooning body, and aches. And, just as with the first four pregnancies, sometimes when I think about the little person whose face I have yet to see my heart is already bursting with love.

Now on to things that amuse me right now...

First, Adriana is supposed to write a short composition for school every day. Today's topic was to write about what you would do if you were going to the moon. Normally, I require a longer composition; and we fix her spelling. But this I simply couldn't touch.



Apparently, the moon is scary and can blow you away. Plus on an even more convincing note, the astronauts have to wear diapers. Nuff said.

And for your further humor enjoyment, my sister secretly took some video of my four-year-old nephew strumming on his guitar and singing his own original composition that we could title "Baby Jesus & Ava". Oh, and just because I needed this clarified. I was informed he was singing "He was strong" not "He was drunk".

Carter has taught Ava the virtues of Tow Mater and Ava has tested his safety patience with her daring antics. Ah, cousins.

The Dossier

This, my friends, is a completed dossier...



The dossier, or in laymen's terms: a packet to Ethiopia with all the required documents for requesting an orphan, is only a fraction of the paperwork (save a child, kill a tree). But it's a very important fraction and signifies the end of the initial "paper pregnancy" and the beginning of the wait for the referral. We're told with all the red tape a referral will take 24-30 months; so right now we'll just rejoice in the little victories!

Highlights

Probably like you, I've spent the week recovering from the holidays and helping my kids recover from the holidays (can anyone say, "meltdowns" and "more meltdowns"). It was a truly beautiful Christmas, probably my favorite yet. And while I have lots of photos yet to post, here are some of my personal Christmas highlights.

1) Receiving our home study in the mail a couple days before Christmas. (Look, kids, look at Mommy jumping up and down shrieking.) It's amazing how many hours of work can be enclosed in such a small packet.


2) Christmas Eve traditions with our kids- bagels, fireplace, Charlie Brown Christmas, and pajama day.

3)  Packing into Mom & Dad's house with all my siblings and pretending that 20+ years hasn't changed anything. (Though the obligatory, flash-photo group shot shows that things have changed just a touch.)

4) Copious amounts of coffee courtesy of my mom's never-ending coffee pot.

5) Movie tickets from my brother so we could go see Les Miserables. It's been a long time since I've been this excited about the movie. Stunning cinematography; raw, emotional singing; and a profound story of salvation through grace over the law. If you've ever seen the play, you'll be that much more in love. There are many nods to my absolute favorite Broadway production.


6) A new sister. Because my brother made the smartest decision of his entire life to date. Welcome to the family, Samantha.

7) An engagement party complete with some amazing Egyptian food courtesy of my brother's future mother-in-law.

8) Numerous rounds of my new favorite family game where Adriana can hold her own against Steven and even the adults don't want to stop playing. (Thanks to my own mother-in-law for this gift!)


9) Gifts that made me cry...literally- the sweetest "We Can't Wait To Meet You" note from my parents to the granddaughter they have yet to lay eyes upon, donations made in my name to ministries dear to my heart, and a necklace from my husband that I can hardly take off. Who needs Santa?!?

Caffeine, Baby!

This is the reason my room smells so divine right now....

And it's merely a fraction of the coffee I have sitting here. 

My husband is a natural born salesman. And since opposites attract, I hate trying to sell anything. As in ANYTHING. I hate it with every bone in body. So having to do fundraisers for our adoption is not exactly my idea of a good time. Trust me, I'd rather just give updates and never say a word about money. But I hear that adopting is a wonderful way to strap on some humility; so fundraising must be the trial run. 

If I have to sell something, at least this fair-trade, organic coffee takes some of the sting out of the pain of sales. Our family will be selling this delicious stuff before and after our church service Sunday with other families that are on the road to adoption. Next to us you'll find the Echegoyens selling some homemade salsa, and the Kobayashi's selling handmade crafts so that you can get some last minute Christmas shopping done! 

If you're local, and won't be there, feel free to contact me about buying coffee since purchasing it directly from us takes away the shipping and handling fee and the hassle of ordering it yourself. And if you're not local you, can simply go HERE to buy some.

Okay. Sales hat off now. Whew, that feels better.

Braids & Such

Ava Lou now talks and acts like she's one of the big kids. She insists on dressing herself and doing everything else herself. Our social worker commented on how much everyone in the family raved about Ava. We all just can't get enough of her. She regularly has us in stitches, and seems to know that the her ability to make us all laugh gives her some sort of celebrity status in our home. The other day she passed gas and casually commented, "Excuse my bum." 

And with the braids, oh Lord help us; it's hard not let her get away with anything when she's sporting those braids.

On a more serious note, the author of one of the blogs I follow is over in Ethiopia right now meeting her daughter and going to court to make her officially part of their family. She also had the chance to visit one of the government orphanages there. You may have already followed this link that I posted on my Facebook page: but if not, take the time to read THIS. Take the time to open you eyes and your heart to a world outside of our "American dream". I know doing this in my own life is a journey I've only just begun. 

Support Us With Coffee

Our home visits are done. *head thrown back shouting "hallelujah"* And honestly, they were so much less intimidating than I expected. The social worker checked our closets and didn't find any skeletons. (We hid them in the attic.... kidding. Kidding.)

When she was doing our family interview, she asked us why we wanted to adopt from Ethiopia. Before Steven or I had the chance to answer, Adriana piped up confidently, "Because we like their food." 

The sick humor side of me wonders what would have happened if I had just looked up at the social worker with a straight face, and said, "Yep, that pretty much sums it up."

And now that the home study is about complete, we're facing the dossier and the holidays. As Steven and I spent time praying over where the $9,000 that needs to accompany the completion of the dossier is coming from, I wondered if I couldn't combine the Christmas shopping season with raising money for the dossier. 

So, as usual, I turned to coffee. 

No really, I did. There's a company called "Just Love Coffee Roasters" that comes along adopters like us to help raise money. They sell sustainable, fair trade coffee in every roast you could want. And you can even join their coffee club to have your coffee sent to your doorstep regularly. They sell also grinders, mugs, and even the popular Chemex coffee maker. Because what do you get the person on your Christmas shopping list who has everything? COFFEE!!

You can go HERE to our profile on the website and simply click the "Shop & Support" button on the left. A portion of anything you purchase after that goes to our adoption fund. It's that easy.

Shopping for Christmas gifts, getting coffee, and supporting an orphan finding her way to a family aching to love her? I don't see a downside here. 

And if you're ever looking for to purchase coffee again, I'll be keeping the link under the "Our Adoption" tab of this blog. Now go get yourself some java!

Home Visits

This next week we'll be embarking on a big step for our adoption. Our home visits will take place; and to be honest, this is the part I'm most nervous about. It's not that I have things to hide, but the idea of someone, coming into my home and evaluating me and my family is a bit nerve-racking. Not a bad thing, just humbling. So I'll give a little update here after all of that; because as long as everything goes well, the social worker's report will complete the home study portion of our adoption process. This is HUGE since it is the most work-intensive part of the adoption paper-chase process. After this is complete, we move on to putting our dossier together for Ethiopia. For those of you who don't know what that word even means, a dossier (pronounced dah-see-ay) is a packet with many notarized papers that gives the country we're adopting from a detailed description and record of Steven and me and our family.

Also, our first adoption fund-raiser, the photo mini-sessions went SO well. I had prayed many times for God's blessing on this; and He blew me away (it's His specialty). It was a perfect day, two days before we were slammed with Hurricane Sandy. Everyone that participate was an absolute delight. I went to bed that night unbelievably exhausted and unbelievably grateful! You can check out a taste of the photos over at my photography blog HERE.

Looking & Smiling {my life right now}

For our dossier we're required to submit two family photos, no more than a year old, with all six of us "looking at the camera and smiling." Or so the directions say.

Problem one:
Total number of photos I've taken this past year of our life= 900+
Total number of photos I've taken this past year of all six of us= 0

Problem two:
Well isn't it obvious?..."looking at the camera and smiling." *snort*

So Sunday we pulled out the camera...


Someone can take it up with my two-year-old if they're really feeling like being stickler's about that looking/smiling bit.

Adoption Celebration {my life right now}

Injera, doro wett, and tibs- if you understood those words you've probably enjoyed cuisine from our future daughter's native country. And if you have tasted it, you can understand my niece's anxiousness to dig in.

We finally enjoyed a belated "Start of the Adoption Celebration" with my family.

Make-shift End Table {my life right now}

"One of these things is not like the others..." (as sung by Sesame Street in your head)



Until our dossier is in to Ethiopia, this is as unpacked as it's getting.

Getting Fingerprinted {my life right now}

The girl in front of me wanted to know how her DUI would affect her record.

The girl behind me wanted to know how to get a mis-demeanor off of her record.

I just want another daughter.